Google Translate for my Bilingual Toddler

Inspired by this gem.

Hi, me.

Hi, mommy.

Where my vroom wewwow?

Where's Cruz, the yellow car from Cars?

I wanna pee-pee bon-bon green.

I will sit on the potty for ten seconds in exchange for a green gummy bear. If you are all out of green, I will accept another color, but only after loudly voicing my dissatisfaction.

Poop is coming!

I'm pooping. Hold my hands while I squeeze my legs straight together and make pained expressions in order to drag this out as long as possible.

I wanna peep.

I want pink toenail polish like yours, mommy.

No wanna boing-boing.

I don't want to go to gymnastics class.

No wanna wee-oh!

I don't want to wear those stupid fireman pajamas you got me for Halloween, and will fight to the death to not let them touch my body. I am not a goddamn fireman, I am a fireman enthusiast. Just put on one of my three firetruck-motif outfits already and we can both move past this.

I froid (pronounced fwah, meaning "cold" in French).

Cuddle with me. You are paying too much attention to that baby and I've had enough.

Papa, bébé, bras! (bras = arms)

Give the baby to daddy. You are paying too much attention to it and I've had enough.

Bébé not happy!

The baby is crying.

Bébé happy!

The baby is smiling.

I want lait.

I want milk.

Papa chien (dog) wuf-wuf.

Daddy, let's go on a walk and check out the neighborhood dogs.

I peur (fear) chien.

I'm afraid of dogs.


Finding Nemo.

Seeee dooooow!

Swim down! (Reenacting a dramatic scene from Finding Nemo)




The Lion King.





Scary dauphin (dolphin).



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